5 Things You Need to Know if You’re Living With Anxiety

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Growing up, I didn’t have very much anxiety, or at least I don’t think I did. Occasionally I would get anxious over a test at school or meeting new people, but I didn’t have anxiety every day.

I also didn’t fully understand why people with anxiety felt the way they did. It wasn’t until I started having terrible anxiety, that I started to fully comprehend how it felt and how awful it really is. I didn’t even start having major anxiety until my joint problems worsened, which was also around the time I became a new mom. When your body hurts day in and day out, it affects your mental health as well. It becomes harder to get out and do things and it stresses you out. Throw in an auto-immune disorder and a hyper toddler, and your anxiety on a scale of 1-10 becomes a 12.

When Austin was born, my anxiety immediately got worse. He had colic, he didn’t sleep, and he wanted to be held 24/7. I didn’t want to take him out anywhere. In fact, I spent the first 6 months crying every day. It was HARD. Motherhood is hard period. As time passed, my health issues worsened. I’ve been through 2 surgeries (15 total in my lifetime), plus 1 procedure since Austin was born. I have also been diagnosed with 3 major conditions since he was born: Endometriosis, Fibromyalgia, and Arthritis.

When I see this picture, I think about how much I really love Austin (I mean, look at how precious he is), but it also reminds me of how anxious I was at the time. We were getting ready to leave to go to a Christmas party at my parent’s house. I was worried about spending 3 hours total in the car with a 3 month old, and how he would react to a house full of people (not well I might add….there was crying involved). To be honest, I never enjoyed myself when we would go out when he was that small, and if you asked Dustin, he would tell you he felt the same. You see a smile; I see a wife and new mom drowning in her own worry and anxiety.

I already stress and worry about everything, but when you throw all of the extra factors in, it becomes so difficult from day to day. I’m so thankful for my husband. He understands what it’s like and he is so considerate of my feelings and he takes the best care of me, especially on my bad days.

We have so much going on in our lives right now, and while most of them are good things, they can still be stressful. About a month ago, I was having trouble catching my breath and my chest was hurting. I was so scared, because I didn’t know what was happening. Dustin told me I was having a panic attack and to take slow, deep breaths. I did what he said, and tried to relax. The feeling started to subside and I was able to finally go to sleep.

I was embarrassed to admit feeling this way a couple of years ago. I didn’t tell anyone how I felt. I just kept it bottled up inside and let it fester until I would break down and let it all out. That is not healthy at all. I thought being anxious was a sign of weakness, but it’s not. You have to be strong on the inside to carry on with your life when everything else around you seems to be falling apart.

I realize now that my feelings are valid and I’m not alone. There are so many people suffering from anxiety. While I understand that poor eating habits and an unhealthy lifestyle can contribute to having anxiety, I also believe that there are several other factors that cause anxiety that we cannot help or control. If we could, there wouldn’t be such a thing as anxiety to even worry about. Wouldn’t it be awesome to have a switch where we could flip it off? But there’s not. We can only try to cope with it and stay positive.

Here are 5 things you need to know if you’re living with anxiety:

1. Not everyone will understand.

It’s true. There are some people who will judge you for having anxiety, but it’s because they don’t understand exactly how it can affect a person. Don’t let those kind of people get you down. You don’t have to explain yourself, and they don’t have the right to an opinion of how you feel when they haven’t walked in your shoes.

2. You’re not alone.

You’re not the only one suffering from anxiety. I know it can feel like you’re alone sometimes, but you’re not. You’d be surprised how many people you know have it, even though they don’t act like it. Trying to keep up a facade like you don’t have it, is more exhausting than actually having it. If you have anxiety, you know what I mean by that, because it is exhausting; mentally, physically, and emotionally.

3. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.

I think I was embarrassed to admit I had anxiety in the past, because I was worried about what everyone would think of me. The truth is, everyone will have an opinion of you no matter what. I would rather be honest, and be myself then pretend like I’m fine all of the time. In order for you to truly live your life and be happy, you can’t pretend. Just be the real you, and you will attract real friends who will be there for you and who will understand when you are having a bad day or don’t feel like going out.

4. It’s okay to ask for help.

This one is a hard one for me, and I still struggle with it. I’m an independent, strong-willed person. I like to do everything myself, and asking for help makes me feel helpless. You can’t be everything to everyone all of the time. I’m learning that it’s okay to ask for help when I need it instead of wearing myself down and making life ten times harder. I can’t help anyone else around me if I have nothing left to give. Find a group of people who will be supportive. For me, it’s my family. My family (including my husband’s family) has never told me no if I have asked for help, and they understand if I’m not able to come to every function or get out and do things on certain days. They know I’m on the struggle bus some days, and they don’t put me down or judge me for it. They are my people. Those are the kind of people you need.

5. Not every day is going to be a bad day.

Having anxiety can absolutely cause you to have a bad day, and if I’m being honest, there can be a lot of bad days. This is where mindset comes in to play. There are some days you won’t be able to help but have a bad day due to certain circumstances, but there will also be days you can choose to have a better day. Some days I take a deep breath and tell myself I will have a good day. I try to brush off the small, insignificant things that may otherwise bring me down, and I smile or laugh it off. You will not always have a horrible day. Try to find the little things that make it a good day. You’re alive, you are not alone in this, and you are loved.

If you are struggling with anxiety, please ask for help and don’t bury your feelings deep down inside. You will be surprised at how much better you will feel just by confiding in someone else or by being honest about it. Just be the real you and take it one day at a time. I’m not saying it will always be easy and you won’t have bad days, but by surrounding yourself with people who care about you and are willing to help you makes a world of difference.

If you don’t struggle with anxiety and you don’t understand it, try being considerate and compassionate towards those who do have it. There’s nothing worse than having anxiety and being judged by others for it. You may not understand it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not very real for the person who is suffering from it. Small things that come easy to you may be a struggle for them. Be the friend that they need and if they need to have a day to themselves, just know it’s not that they don’t want to spend time with you, but that they may just feel overwhelmed and need some space to breathe.

I hope that this has helped those who do have anxiety to feel encouraged, and those who do not have anxiety to understand a little more what it’s like.

If you have any other tips for coping with anxiety, please leave them below in the comments, and share if you found this helpful!

Download this FREE printable of scriptures to help calm your anxiety.

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